How important are manners?

In the "age of attitude" many people are losing touch with what it means to be polite.  Learning manners is an important part of growing up and getting along in life.  By equipping your children with social skills such as using manners and exhibiting respect to their peers and other adults, parents are giving their children something that will serve them for the rest of their lives.  From school settings to grocery store lines, children with manners usually get preferential treatment.  Who doesn't appreciate and reward a child with good manners and a respectful attitude?

Manners are best taught by example.  Most children model what they see so parents should be aware of their own attitudes and manners, or lack thereof, in forming expectations of their children.  In addition to just being  the right thing to do, manners can........read more

Teaching Kids to Give at Christmas

In today's world, you see a common theme running through cities, neighborhoods, and even in individual families:  "Mine!"

This "mine" mentality can make it hard for parents to teach the principle of giving to their children.  Invariably, children think of Christmas as a time for getting more stuff, but it may be a good opportunity for a paradigm shift into giving mode.  Here is one very simple example of how to teach your child the concept of charitable giving:

• Fill up a box for donation. Sometime before Christmas, get a good-sized box and ask your child to fill it with all of the toys that they no longer play with.  Include clothes that are no longer worn, as well. It sometimes helps if the child can see wrapped presents under the tree with their names on them.
• Talk about it.  Explain to your child that there are many children who have unmet needs and whose parents cannot provide them with gifts.  Most children do not realize that life is different for other people.  They think in terms of their own reality.
• Let them do the giving.  When the  box is full, let them be the ones to actually do the giving. 

Of course, the best way to teach charitable giving is to be a model.  Let your kids see you filling up your own boxes and they will naturally want to follow suit.

Holiday Stress: 4 "Don'ts"

Do you find yourself running around like a hamster on a wheel during the holidays?  If you do, you are not alone.  Many people who are already busy find the holidays simply overwhelming, even to the point of dread.  Christmas should not be a time that causes anxiety.  It should be a time for enjoyment, peacefulness, and goodwill.  Here are a few "don'ts" that may help you have a merrier Christmas.

• Don't try to make everybody happy.  There is a simple reason for this one.  You can't please everyone all of the time.  Family members and friends may have the perfect plans for how and where you spend your holidays, but ultimately, you have to make the decision that's best for you, your spouse, and your children.  There is nothing worse than driving all day or laying over for hours at an airport trying to get to three or four family Christmases.
• Don't overspend.  Christmas is not about presents.  It's about presence.  Did you get the play on words there?  A recent poll tells us that, on average, people spend upwards of $700 at Christmas.  To me, that's just too much.  Why would I suffer the stress of overextending myself and then choose to defer some of that stress to January and beyond trying to pay that exorbitant amount back?  Why not start a new tradition of not giving quantities of expensive gifts. Set a comfortable limit and stick to it.
• Don't try to attend every function.  Christmas is a festive time complete with company Christmas parties, get-togethers with friends, school functions, and church gatherings.  However, people that are already extremely busy find themselves running crazy trying to fit all of that fun into their schedules.  Allow me to let you in on a secret: There is no sin in not attending every holiday party, event, or function. I'll go one step further and tell you not to even try.  Go to the ones you really want to attend and forego the rest.  You'll be less stressed and a little more sane this New Year.
• Don't forget why we celebrate Christmas.  Do you ever wonder why Thanksgiving is just kind of skipped over commercially?  It's probably because "giving thanks" doesn't sell very well.  But, the significance of Christmas involves the continuance of giving thanks and, if you can move past the toy displays and the dazzling Christmas decorations, you will find that the basis for the Christmas message is still just "peace on Earth, goodwill towards men".  Don't you agree that there is more to Christmas than what is displayed in store windows?  I think Jesus would.

Can Students Benefit from Mindulness Training?

Contrary to popular belief, children and teens experience stress and anxiety just like adults.  Children can get stressed out over hearing their parents argue, sickness or disability within the family, dissent among siblings, divorce, and a host of other domestic issues.  Then there are school experiences that can be just as stressful such as social tension with peers and teachers, keeping up with assignments, or performing in sports activities. Even current world events cause many students to experience excessive amounts of anxiety.  More and more, experts are seeing the benefit of mindfulness training in helping students independently relieve the stress loads that they encounter on a daily basis.  Furthermore, teaching these important principles of focused attention to children forms a beneficial habit that is carried over into adulthood.  Learning to practice mindfulness in response to stress is certainly one of the most useful tools that youngsters can acquire in order to help them navigate the difficult times in their lives.

What is Mindfulness?

Although an expansive subject, mindfulness, in a nutshell, is the state where a person becomes more aware of the here and now and refrains from paying so much attention to the past or future.  Mindfulness is being in the present moment; it is being awake; it is becoming aware of the..........read more

When Parents Take Over-Protectiveness to the Extreme

It’s pretty obvious that parents aren’t the same today as they were even a decade ago.  Kids of yesteryear never wore helmets when riding their tricycles and they didn’t worry about drinking tap water. Today, however, many things have changed.  Even kid’s playgrounds are made out of protective, cushioned “mulch”, whereas, in past generations, they had to just tough it out and scrape their knees on real dirt.  And, interestingly, about a third of all parents now send their kids to school with a bottle of hand sanitizer – because of the dirty bathrooms, of course.  While in some instances parental over-concern is warranted, the question remains:  Where do we draw the line?  What message does ........read more