How important are manners?

In the "age of attitude" many people are losing touch with what it means to be polite.  Learning manners is an important part of growing up and getting along in life.  By equipping your children with social skills such as using manners and exhibiting respect to their peers and other adults, parents are giving their children something that will serve them for the rest of their lives.  From school settings to grocery store lines, children with manners usually get preferential treatment.  Who doesn't appreciate and reward a child with good manners and a respectful attitude?

Manners are best taught by example.  Most children model what they see so parents should be aware of their own attitudes and manners, or lack thereof, in forming expectations of their children.  In addition to just being  the right thing to do, manners can........read more

Teaching Kids to Give at Christmas

In today's world, you see a common theme running through cities, neighborhoods, and even in individual families:  "Mine!"

This "mine" mentality can make it hard for parents to teach the principle of giving to their children.  Invariably, children think of Christmas as a time for getting more stuff, but it may be a good opportunity for a paradigm shift into giving mode.  Here is one very simple example of how to teach your child the concept of charitable giving:

• Fill up a box for donation. Sometime before Christmas, get a good-sized box and ask your child to fill it with all of the toys that they no longer play with.  Include clothes that are no longer worn, as well. It sometimes helps if the child can see wrapped presents under the tree with their names on them.
• Talk about it.  Explain to your child that there are many children who have unmet needs and whose parents cannot provide them with gifts.  Most children do not realize that life is different for other people.  They think in terms of their own reality.
• Let them do the giving.  When the  box is full, let them be the ones to actually do the giving. 

Of course, the best way to teach charitable giving is to be a model.  Let your kids see you filling up your own boxes and they will naturally want to follow suit.

Holiday Stress: 4 "Don'ts"

Do you find yourself running around like a hamster on a wheel during the holidays?  If you do, you are not alone.  Many people who are already busy find the holidays simply overwhelming, even to the point of dread.  Christmas should not be a time that causes anxiety.  It should be a time for enjoyment, peacefulness, and goodwill.  Here are a few "don'ts" that may help you have a merrier Christmas.

• Don't try to make everybody happy.  There is a simple reason for this one.  You can't please everyone all of the time.  Family members and friends may have the perfect plans for how and where you spend your holidays, but ultimately, you have to make the decision that's best for you, your spouse, and your children.  There is nothing worse than driving all day or laying over for hours at an airport trying to get to three or four family Christmases.
• Don't overspend.  Christmas is not about presents.  It's about presence.  Did you get the play on words there?  A recent poll tells us that, on average, people spend upwards of $700 at Christmas.  To me, that's just too much.  Why would I suffer the stress of overextending myself and then choose to defer some of that stress to January and beyond trying to pay that exorbitant amount back?  Why not start a new tradition of not giving quantities of expensive gifts. Set a comfortable limit and stick to it.
• Don't try to attend every function.  Christmas is a festive time complete with company Christmas parties, get-togethers with friends, school functions, and church gatherings.  However, people that are already extremely busy find themselves running crazy trying to fit all of that fun into their schedules.  Allow me to let you in on a secret: There is no sin in not attending every holiday party, event, or function. I'll go one step further and tell you not to even try.  Go to the ones you really want to attend and forego the rest.  You'll be less stressed and a little more sane this New Year.
• Don't forget why we celebrate Christmas.  Do you ever wonder why Thanksgiving is just kind of skipped over commercially?  It's probably because "giving thanks" doesn't sell very well.  But, the significance of Christmas involves the continuance of giving thanks and, if you can move past the toy displays and the dazzling Christmas decorations, you will find that the basis for the Christmas message is still just "peace on Earth, goodwill towards men".  Don't you agree that there is more to Christmas than what is displayed in store windows?  I think Jesus would.

Can Students Benefit from Mindulness Training?

Contrary to popular belief, children and teens experience stress and anxiety just like adults.  Children can get stressed out over hearing their parents argue, sickness or disability within the family, dissent among siblings, divorce, and a host of other domestic issues.  Then there are school experiences that can be just as stressful such as social tension with peers and teachers, keeping up with assignments, or performing in sports activities. Even current world events cause many students to experience excessive amounts of anxiety.  More and more, experts are seeing the benefit of mindfulness training in helping students independently relieve the stress loads that they encounter on a daily basis.  Furthermore, teaching these important principles of focused attention to children forms a beneficial habit that is carried over into adulthood.  Learning to practice mindfulness in response to stress is certainly one of the most useful tools that youngsters can acquire in order to help them navigate the difficult times in their lives.

What is Mindfulness?

Although an expansive subject, mindfulness, in a nutshell, is the state where a person becomes more aware of the here and now and refrains from paying so much attention to the past or future.  Mindfulness is being in the present moment; it is being awake; it is becoming aware of the..........read more

When Parents Take Over-Protectiveness to the Extreme

It’s pretty obvious that parents aren’t the same today as they were even a decade ago.  Kids of yesteryear never wore helmets when riding their tricycles and they didn’t worry about drinking tap water. Today, however, many things have changed.  Even kid’s playgrounds are made out of protective, cushioned “mulch”, whereas, in past generations, they had to just tough it out and scrape their knees on real dirt.  And, interestingly, about a third of all parents now send their kids to school with a bottle of hand sanitizer – because of the dirty bathrooms, of course.  While in some instances parental over-concern is warranted, the question remains:  Where do we draw the line?  What message does ........read more

Teen Pregnancy: Risk Factors and Intervention

We like to think of our society as progressive and capable of solving our social ills one problem at a time, but the fact of the matter is that, among industrialized nations, the U.S. leads the way in teen pregnancy.  Currently, 4 out of every 10 girls in the U.S. will become pregnant by their 20th birthday.

What Causes Teen Pregnancy
Aside from the obvious answer of engaging in sex, the factors that contribute to a teen being at-risk for teenage pregnancy can become very complex.  Some of the risk factors include:
* Living in poverty.
* Being the child of a single parent, or being the child of teen parents.
* Being reared in an abusive environment.
* Involvement in drug and alcohol use and abuse.
* Having low self-esteem.
* Poor performance in school.
* Being in multiple foster care homes.
* Ongoing family conflict.
* Lack of parental supervision.

Approaches to Intervention

There have basically been three strategies for bringing down the numbers associated with teen pregnancy since they reached an all-time high in the ‘90’s:
* Abstinence-only educational programs.  The Institute of Medicine reports that of 13 studies done evaluating abstinence-only educational programs, none have had a..........read more

The Collision Between the Teenager and Mid-Life Parents

There are many parents that are, at least, in their late 20’s or early 30’s when they begin having children.  And there is an ever-increasing societal trend to wait even later to start a family.  This puts parents square in the middle of life when their children become preteens and teenagers.  Although more studies are being done, it’s safe to say that part of the problem that parents have in dealing with their teens is, to some extent, exacerbated by their own battle with middle age.

During this period, adolescents are exploring a seemingly limitless future, while, simultaneously, parents in mid-life are feeling the constraints of life.  While your child is searching for freedom, you are busy bearing the brunt of parental, financial, and other responsibilities to the best of your ability.

Mid-Life Crisis?
The stereotypical mid-life crisis actually happens to a small minority of adults.  The fact is that most parents do not quit their jobs or leave their spouses just because they hit age 40 or 50.  But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t some serious introspection going on.   This is the time when adults begin.......read more

Cutest Halloween Costumes of 2011

Babies in costumes: cute. Babies in creative "I bet you've never thought of these" getups: even better. That's why we're compiling all the best, most OMG adorable pictures of kids dressed up for Halloween right here on HuffPost Parents.

If you’re still looking for the perfect disguise for your little ones, just start clicking. We've got a chef and an Elvis. Baby strongman and baby gnome. Also... a baby Donald. The Donald. Click through for inspiration and vote for..... read more

Ideas for Saving Money on Gas

The current economic climate calls for stretching the budget and pinching pennies whenever and wherever possible.  With gasoline prices skyrocketing, it makes sense to put cutting fuel costs high on the priority list.  Here are a few tips to give you a good start in getting the most out of the money you spend on gasoline:

·         Plan errands around other necessary trips like taking the kids to school or going to work.  You will save a bundle if you stop by the grocery store, dry cleaners, bank or drug store on your way to or from other necessary driving trips.

·         Carpool.  Chances are there are people in your circle who live and work in the same area as you. Taking turns driving or sharing fuel costs means savings for everyone involved.

·         Keep your car maintained.  Oil changes, filter changes and other recommended maintenance will make your car run better, last longer and allow for better gas mileage.

·         Use a credit card that offers gas rebates.  Many cards give you as much as 5% back on gas purchases.  While it doesn’t seem like much, it adds up over the course of a year.

·         Keep your tires properly inflated.  Maintaining correct tire pressure will give you better gas mileage, as well as extending the life of your tires.

·         Roll the windows down when you are going slow, but keep them up when you are on the freeway.  Rolled down windows create excessive drag on your vehicle when you are going fast, so only roll your windows down when you are doing start and stop driving in the city.

·         Use low octane fuel.  This alone could potentially save hundreds of dollars every year.  Unless you own a car that specifically calls for higher octane fuel, you are wasting your money by buying it.  Stick with the lesser expensive gasoline and save your money.

·         Keep extra weight out of the trunk.  The heavier your vehicle is, the more fuel it takes to operate.  Store your stuff in your garage, not in your trunk.

·         Utilize your GPS system.  It will keep you from making wrong turns and getting lost.

·         Keep a steady speed.  Braking and accelerating takes more fuel than simple driving at a steady speed. 

Tough times call for creative ways to save money.  By implementing some extra planning and using common sense, you can combat soaring fuel prices.

What Families Can Learn from the Recession

While undoubtedly hard to weather, the current economic climate offers a host of opportunity for parents and kids, alike, to learn valuable lessons.

• Saving.  Nothing teaches about money like not having any and an economic downturn reinforces the fact that things don't always go as planned.  Families that experience economic hardship have the experience to plan for another one should it come.  Saving 10% is a great start to building up some reserve resources.
• Taking care of what you have.  In a comsumerist society, there is not a lot of emphasis placed on preserving possessions.  Why?  Because you just go out and buy another one.  A recession automatically helps people shift their perspective concerning materialism and it helps them learn to value their things more.  Things that are valued are taken cared of, cleaned, repaired, and maintained.
• Delayed Gratification.  Today, people want stuff and they want it now!  Even though we have plenty of drive-thru this or that to get you want on demand, life isn't really like that.  A recession can teach people that they don't have to have the latest and greatest right now and that some things are worth waiting for. 

History indicates that many alive today will go through at least one more major recession in their lifetime.  With this in mind, it pays to capitalize as much as possible on bad circumstances by learning some truly valuable life lessons.

How Childhood Sibling Relationships Can Affect Adult Behavior

How much influence do childhood brother/sister relationships have on our adult life? It seems that much of our adult emotional and social influence can largely be attributed to the quality of our sibling relationships early on. While parents teach us the proper way to perform socially, siblings teach us how to get along with friends and peers. A parent's responsibility consists of teaching children principles and skills relating to manners, respect for authority and acting appropriately in public. A sibling, however, acts more like a mentor in the realm of socialization.

Is Sibling Influence Good or Bad?

Studies show that younger children that have a good relationship with their positively motivated siblings are more apt to experience a productive adulthood. But what about those siblings who smoke, drink and engage in other delinquent behavior? The younger child will likely pick up on that behavior and will be more inclined to...........read more

Zucchini Gruyere Casserole

This fantastic side dish is easy to make, rich and cheesy, and chock full of nutritious zucchini.

Ingredients:

1 package of crescent rolls

2 or 3 sliced or diced zucchini
1/2 a medium onion, diced
 1/2 pound gruyere or swiss cheese
1 egg
1 tablespoon or so minced garlic
1/2 cup panko bread crumbs (other types of bread crumbs would work too)
salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Start by sautéing onion and zucchini in a little bit of olive oil over medium heat - about 10 minutes. While veggies are sautéing, open a can of crescent rolls and remove dough. Press into lightly greased casserole dish. Make sure you press out all perforations and spread dough up the sides of the casserole dish. Remove veggies from heat. In a food processor, grate gruyere cheese. You can also do this by hand, but the food processor is much faster. Mix gruyere with beaten egg and add it to slightly cooled zucchini mixture. Add garlic, salt and pepper to taste. Pour over crescent roll dough in casserole dish. Mix panko bread crumbs with a little olive oil and sprinkle top of casserole. Bake for about 30 minutes.

Defining the Strong-Willed Child

All children can display willful and defiant behavior on occasion, but with strong-willed children, challenging authority and exhibiting a propensity for stubbornness and persistent inflexibility is an everyday occurrence. As a parent, becoming aware of your child's strong-willed personality will help you understand that they are not necessarily acting out on purpose. In fact, strong-willed children are predisposed to being more self-determined, independent, and tenacious than other more compliant children.

What does it mean to be strong-willed?

A combination of nature and nurture, the strong-willed child has a set of characteristics that sets them apart from other children. Consider the following traits when determining if your little one is of the strong-willed persuasion:

• Persistence. Strong-willed children are goal-directed and it can be very difficult to give up on a project or get them to try something a different way. They have a tendency to have rigid mindsets. This can be advantageous in some respects, but is also a disadvantage in others.

• Inflexibility. All children perform better and are more stable when they have structure in their lives, but strong-willed children have a particular aversion to upset schedules and seem to be thrown off-course when things change.

• High mental or physical energy. Many strong-willed children exhibit extreme creativity and often their minds are running non-stop. This characteristic can be manifest in physical activities such as sport-related activities, dancing, or acting. Alternatively, many strong-willed children exert their energy in mental activities such as drawing, building, or using their imaginations to the extreme.

• Determination. While most children demonstrate determination at certain times, this defining trait is the hallmark of a strong-willed child. This display of unrelenting resolve is what can make a strong-willed child a world-changer. But it is also part of what makes them so difficult to parent.

Are you pushed to your limit? Do you wonder if other parents have as much trouble with their children? Do you sometimes consider that there may be something amiss with your child? Chances are you are dealing with the wonderful world of the willful child. Although there is not much you can do to change it, there is a lot you can do to channel it. Strong-willed children are the ones who mature into adults who have an extra dose of grit and tenacity to effectively make a positive mark on, not only their immediate surroundings, but the entire world.

Getting Toddlers Ready for Preschool: Bathroom Basics

Topping the list of anxieties that children will experience as they enter preschool or kindergarten are issues surrounding going to the bathroom. Even at age 5, kids don’t have full control of their bladder and may still have daytime accidents from time to time. Additionally, young children may not be completely aware of the early physiological signs that tell them that it’s time to go. Consequently, they may have a very small window between the time they realize their need to use the restroom and the time that they cannot hold it anymore. At this age, children also tend to become fully engrossed in fun activities and find themselves waiting until the last minute.


Problems Getting Clothes Up and Down

Many children will experience anxiety from having to go the restroom away from home. In their own environment, mother or some other trusted caregiver was usually the one helping with buttons, zippers and cleaning. At school, some children will not like having to accept help from teachers and other caregivers with these issues. The best advice for parents is to dress your children in clothes that are easy to get up and down. For instance, a good choice for boys would be to opt for elastic waist pants as opposed to zippers and buttons. They are more comfortable and children can usually pull them up and down fast. For girls, tights could be much more difficult to deal with than leggings. Parents can ease some of the anxiety by preparing to practice buttoning, zipping and snapping at home. The more confident your child is, the easier it will be to adjust to a school environment.

Bowel Movements

There are few children who do not become anxious from time to time when they have to have a bowel movement at school. They may find that, with all the excitement of school, it’s hard to relax and go. They may be afraid that somebody will walk in on them, or they may feel like they are taking too long. Whatever the case may be, parents can ease this sort of anxiety by reminding their child that it is okay to have a bowel movement at school and that the teacher understands when it takes a little longer to go. Teachers can also put children at ease by reiterating to children how to lock the door or how to let others know that they restroom is being occupied.

Even though teachers give ample restroom breaks and go over the rules surrounding proper use of the bathroom, toddlers who are just entering preschool or kindergarten are prone to have bathroom anxiety. Developing confidence in your child is one of the best strategies for relieving them of their anxiety. Make sure they can get dressed and undressed; teach them how to clean themselves; and let them know that they can tell the teacher if they are having any kind of problem. Above all, reassure them that everything will be okay if an accident does happen. 

14 Secrets to Potty Success - Parenting.com

14 Secrets to Potty Success - Parenting.com

Developing the Desire to Read

Long before a child ever picks up their first book or is able to recognize their first image they are learning to respond to sound and experiment with their sense of hearing. In fact, many times their first experience with sensory stimuli is the sound of a loving mother talking or singing to them. Rapidly, they are able to pick up on the meaning of different words mean and understand the complex concepts involved in language development which is foundational in establishing much needed reading skills..... read more

Understanding the Psychological Needs of Your Child

Most loving well-intentioned parents do their best to meet their children´s needs but psychologists say that there are some particular elements that contribute to the optimum psychological growth of children.
What parent doesn't want their children to be well-adjusted, happy and able to accomplish what they want in life? The truth is that many parents don't realize that their children have some very basic psychological needs that, if not met, may affect their potential to learn and achieve later in life.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
Before considering the higher order psychological needs of children it is important to preface the discussion with a general understanding of the basic needs of all people and how humans get their needs met.

Abraham Maslow, a brilliant psychologist who studied human motivation in the '40's and '50's, determined that humans have innate needs that must be met, for the most part, in a particular order.
Often represented in the shape of a pyramid, Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs model consists of five levels, ascending from basic survival needs to higher order psychological needs:
 
• Physiological/biological - These needs consist of things like food, water, air and sleep.
 
• Safety - The need for safety would include protection from the elements, the need for laws and limitations and the need for security and stability.
 
• Love and belonging - This requirement is fulfilled through our familial bonds, work relationships, intimate relationships and friendships.
 
• Esteem - Esteem needs are met through our ability to recognize competency in accomplishing tasks, mastery of our area of expertise, ability to handle responsibility, status, and prestige.
 
• Self-actualization - The final level of need is when a human is self-governed, self-fulfilled and realizes their full potential at a creative level.
 
According to Maslow, when a lower need ...........read more